What Are the Wages of Sin?

    I used to work as a facilities assistant at a bio-analytical company. It sounds fancy, but really I just managed a stockroom of chemical supplies and moved chemicals around. Due to the potentially dangerous nature of the work (some of those chemicals were quite dangerous) I got paid well. At the time I was working part-time there and part-time at the church, but my real passion was the church. So, when they offered to hire me full-time I had to say no. I stayed on as a contract worker for about a year and a half, which meant that I got paid by the hour. If I worked a lot of hours, I got paid a lot, and if I worked only a few hours, I got paid less. If I wanted to get paid, I had to earn it - that's what we call a wage. A wage is a fixed, regular payment that is made to compensate someone for their work.

    The focus of this post is addressing the "wages of sin". Well, we now know what wages are, but what is sin?

    Literally translated, "sin" is "missing the mark". If you think in terms of archery, sin is when I miss the bullseye. I have not hit the mark I was aiming for, so I have sinned. In the Bible, this word is always used to describe disobedience or rebellion against God. You see, God has set the "mark" for us. What we are aiming for is perfection according to His Law and what He says is right. Anytime we miss that mark, anytime we fall short of perfection, we are sinning against God. It is anything we think, say, or do that goes against God.

    Now that we understand these two terms, let's get into the answer for the question. What are the wages of sin?

Paul makes it very clear in the first part of Romans 6:23:

"For the wages of sin is death..."

    When we sin, we earn death. Death is our fixed, regular payment for our sin. Before Adam and Eve had ever sinned, God warned them that this would be the result.

Genesis 2:17 - "But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die."

    He set a simple mark for them - just don't eat the fruit of one particular tree. As we know, they missed that mark. For those of you who know the story, they didn't die immediately - the fruit wasn't poisoned or anything. But because of their sin death entered into the world. Paul explains this very quickly in Romans 5:12:

"Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned..."

    If Adam and Eve had not sinned by eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, then death would not have entered the world. They would have been able to stay in the Garden of Eden, eaten the fruit of the Tree of Life (which was not off-limits) and lived forever.

But they did sin. And as a result death entered the world and now everyone deserves death.

Romans 3:23 - "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..."

    Everyone has earned death for themselves. You, me, our friends, our families, our neighbors, our coworkers (if we have any), everyone. For Adam and Eve, the immediate consequence was separation from God, removal from the Garden of Eden and a loss of access to the Tree of Life. We are currently living in those consequences, with death in our future. What happens when someone dies while separated from God?

    There are several names used in the Bible to describe the destination of sinners: Hell, Hades, Sheol, Gehenna... and according to Revelation all these will eventually be cast into the Lake of Fire (or as Jesus sometimes describes it, the fiery furnace or outer darkness). In His teaching in the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus gives us a consistent picture of what the Lake of Fire will be like for sinners who go there:

Matthew 8:12 - "While the sons of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Matthew 13:42 - "And throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Matthew 13:50 - "And throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Matthew 22:13 - "Then the king said to the attendants, 'Bind him hand and foot and cast him into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'"

Matthew 24:51 - "And will cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Matthew 25:30 - "And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Matthew 25:41 - "Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.'"

Matthew 25:46 - "And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

    In each of the passages above, those who are cast out are those who are against God. They are those who do not belong to Jesus, who are disconnected from Him, and who have set themselves up against Him. Those who do not belong to God, who remain separated from Him, are cast out into this place described as an eternal fire or punishment, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

    The idea of weeping seems pretty straightforward. In some translations, the word "wailing" is used. From this we can understand that there will be great and overwhelming sorrow, anguish, despair, and hopelessness.

    "Gnashing of teeth" is a phrase used to show either intense pain, or anger and disrespect, or both. If you imagine being filled with rage at someone, you might grind your teeth together at them. It is an expression of hate, anger, disrespect, and usually results from experiencing great pain.

    When you put these together, you get a picture of desperation, hopelessness, pain, and anger. These are the feelings and experiences that characterize the Lake of Fire. What makes it worse is that it is eternal - it will last forever. There is no end to it. Imagine being constantly overwhelmed by hopelessness, despair, pain and anger forever and not being able to do anything about it. That's Hell. That's the Lake of Fire.

Hell is not some kind of "afterparty" where sinners all gather and continue in their sin. It is a dark place of loneliness, hopelessness, anguish, bitterness, sorrow and anger that lasts forever.

    Because of sin, this is the default destination for everyone. We have all earned death which leads to the Lake of Fire for all eternity. It is where we belong, it is where we deserve to go because we have all rebelled against the one and only Holy God.

BUT - yes, there is a but! Let's read the rest of Romans 6:23:

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

    I used to be headed for Hell. That's where I deserved to go. But then I put my faith in Jesus Christ and what He did for me on the cross.

Romans 5:8 - "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

    When Jesus died on the cross over 2,000 years ago, He took on all the sins of the world and paid the penalty for our sin. The death that we earned - He took it on Himself. And He did it out of love for us, so that we could be reunited with God and have life everlasting.

The best part is - IT'S FREE!

    While we earned death, life is a free gift from God through Jesus Christ. We don't deserve it at all, but by His grace He offers it to us freely, should we choose to accept it. When I put my faith in Jesus Christ and accepted this free gift, my sins were forgiven and I was made right with God. He no longer holds my sin against me because the penalty has been paid by Jesus! He turned me around so that I no longer belong in Hell, but rather I am welcomed into His Presence and will spend eternity with Him!

    We know that this hope is real because Jesus didn't stay dead. He did something that we could never have done. He took death in our place on the cross, and then 3 days later He rose from the dead. He demonstrated that He has power even over death, and it is proof that what He did on the cross was sufficient to save us from our sin. This is the God we worship and we will get to raise Him forever!

    Those of us who have believed in Jesus are no longer destined for Hell. We belong to Jesus and we have the hope of of living with Him forever. God saved us.

    But I know that many of your friends, your families, your coworkers, your teachers, and others in your life have not believed in Jesus. They either have not heard or have not accepted God's free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ. That means they are still destined for Hell. They have sinned, and they have earned death.

YOU HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT THEY NEED.

    You have the good news they need to hear about Jesus. You know about the free gift that God has offered to all people. Don't leave them on their path to Hell when you have what they need to hear! Go tell them about Jesus!

    When I worked at that bio-analytical company, one of the highlights of the day was when someone brought in donuts or pizza and left it in the breakroom for anyone to come and take. One of my coworkers was always on the lookout for these, and whenever someone would bring something in, he made sure to tell me about it. The free food was there, but if I didn't know about it I couldn't get it. Someone had to tell me.

    God's free gift of salvation is there for everyone. He has commanded those of us who know about it to share the news with others. He has put you where you are so you can tell the people in your life about Jesus. Tell them about this free gift that God has offered them. Let them know about the life they can have with God forever, and don't leave them on their path to Hell. You know what they need, so tell them about it. Get the conversation started. Invite them to church or youth group. Bring a friend with you and start talking about Jesus. You could save their life.

His gift is there for anyone to accept, but someone has to tell them about it. Let that "someone" be you. Amen.

What Does It Mean to "Take Up Your Cross"?

 We had the great fortune of hearing from one of our volunteer leaders for the message last night as we looked at what it means to "take up your cross and follow [Jesus]".

    Before we dive into the passage, let's look at some context. In the chapters leading up to our passage for today, Jesus is seen feeding a crowd of 5,000 men (plus women and children), walking on water, healing a demon-possessed girl, and feeding another crowd of 4,000 men (plus women and children). His disciples are with Him the entire time and witness all of these things firsthand. Each of these miracles by themselves are incredible, and when linked together they are a powerful display of Jesus' authority over creation. This brings us to the first part of our passage:

Matthew 16:13-20 - "When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, 'Who do people say the Son of Man is?'

They replied, 'Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.'

'But what about you?' he asked. 'Who do you say I am?'

Simon Peter answered, 'You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.'

Jesus replied, 'Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.' Then he ordered his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah."

    Following those amazing miracles Jesus sits down for a conversation with His disciples and He asks about the rumors that are going around about Him. "What are the people saying about me?" And the disciples tell him - the people recognize that He is someone of great importance, like a prophet of old. The crowds have seen His miracles and they have heard His teachings and they can see that He is someone sent from God. And they are partially right - Jesus was sent by God.

    But then He takes the question and makes it personal: "What about you? You have been with me and heard my teaching and seen my power - who do you say that I am?" After everything they have seen and heard, He wants to know if they understand who He really is yet. And Peter replies, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God." "Messiah", also known as the "Christ", means "anointed one". That's right, "Christ" is not Jesus' last name. It is a title. Peter calls Jesus the anointed one from God, the one promised in the Old Testament who would come and bring salvation and liberation to the world. And, even more importantly, Peter calls Him the "Son of the living God." Essentially, Peter calls Jesus God.

    And how does Jesus respond? "You're right." He gives Peter high praise for understanding who Jesus really is, and then blesses him by saying that He will establish the church and give Peter the keys of the kingdom of heaven. A quick side note here: "Peter" means "little rock", and the word used for "rock" when Jesus says "on this rock I will build my church" means more of a "big rock". So He is saying here that Peter will be part of the foundation of the church, but ultimately it will be built on Jesus Himself as the "chief cornerstone" (Ephesians 2:19-20).

    This is very high praise for Peter, and he must have felt awesome after hearing it. Unfortunately, that awesome feeling didn't last very long.

Matthew 16:21-23 - "From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.

Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. 'Never, Lord!' he said. 'This shall never happen to you!'

Jesus turned and said to Peter, 'Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.'"

    He goes from being a part of the foundation of the church and holding the keys of the kingdom of heaven to being called "Satan" (which means "adversary" or "one who resists"). He went from being a key player in the establishment of the church to an adversary of Jesus. Why? Because his mind was set on human concerns rather than Godly concerns.

    We know that Jesus' death and resurrection payed the penalty for our sin and bought us from the power of sin and death into eternal life. If Peter had been right, or had convinced Jesus not to go down that path, then we would not have access to eternal life or a relationship with God. Without Jesus' death and resurrection, the Christian faith would mean nothing. Jesus' concern was for our redemption, even though it meant His death. I think Peter stopped listening after he heard Jesus say He was going to die. "But Jesus, if you die, then how are we going to establish the church? How is this kingdom thing going to work if you're not around?" It was a human concern, thinking only about this life and what was happening here. Jesus warned Peter that his thinking needed to change. He needed to get on board with Jesus' death, or he was only going to be a stumbling block in Jesus' mission.

This brings us to our final piece of the passage:

Matthew 16:24-28 - "Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done. Truly I tell you, some of you who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.'"

    This is one of Jesus' hardest teachings. What do you think it means to deny yourself? Well, this one is pretty straightforward - rather than go after what we want, we instead go after what Jesus wants. Whatever my heart's desires, wants, or future goals may be, my priority as a disciple of Jesus Christ is to pursue His desires, wants, and future goals, even if it costs me my life. This is where the next part comes in. Today, a "cross" is symbol for the church of what Jesus did for us when He died. It is a symbol of hope for us. But in His day, the cross was a symbol of humiliation, submission, and execution.

    The Romans used crucifixion (death on a cross) as way of executing the worst of criminals in the most painful and humiliating way possible. If you look forward in the gospel of Matthew (27:27-37), you will see that it was normal for the Romans to force the prisoner to carry the beam of wood that would be his cross up to the place of his execution. This was both humiliating for the prisoner as well as a forced symbol of his submission to the Romans. Jesus had been so brutally beaten and tortured before this point, however, that they had to get someone else to carry it for him. This is where we get the phrase "my cross to bear".

    So, when Jesus says that those who want to be His disciples must "take up their cross and follow me", He is saying that those who want to be His disciples will have to bear humiliation and death. In Luke's gospel, he adds that this is something they have to do daily. So every day Christians are called to carry death and humiliation as they follow Jesus.

    If that's the whole sales pitch - "Follow me and die" - which of you is taking Jesus up on His offer? "Follow me to death" is not the end of the discipleship under Jesus, however. This is the cost. This is what it will take to follow Jesus. You have to be willing to give up your own desires and wants, and even your life, to follow Jesus as His disciple. If you are unwilling to give up your life, or as He puts it, "whoever wants to save his life", then you are not fit to be His disciple. That's why this is such a hard teaching.

    Praise be to God that death is not the end! Jesus says, "Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it". The reason why we deny ourselves, and take up our cross and follow Jesus is that through Him we have everlasting life and salvation for our souls!

    There have been times where I have gone to a restaurant and think, "oh, that looks really good maybe I'll get that". Then I see the price and think, "Nevermind, that's not worth it". Many people look at what Jesus calls His disciples to do - deny themselves and take up their cross - and they think its not worth it. They have their minds set on earthly things; they want all the things this world has to offer like sex, money, success and power and they want those things more than they want life eternal with God. But Jesus says, "What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?"

    When we have our minds set on human concerns, like Peter did, we lose sight of what's truly important and what is ultimately going to be for our good. It is absolutely worth it to give up what I want out of this life in order to obtain eternal life with Jesus. The reward is worth the cost.

Some questions for you to think about:

1. Have you put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? Have you recognized Him, as Peter did, as the anointed Son of God?

2. What desires, wants, or aspirations are you holding onto or refusing to deny? Jesus didn't say "Deny bits and pieces of yourself". He has called you to surrender everything.

3. Are you willing to take up death on a daily basis, offering your very life in submission to Jesus? Paul phrases it like this in Romans 12:1 - "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship". Have you offered your life as a living sacrifice to God? In other words:

Are you living for God or yourself?

Do Not Conform to the Pattern of the World

     Take a moment and think about a few of your favorite TV shows. If you don't watch much television, what about movies? Even your favorite music.

    What did you come up with? Some of my favorite TV shows are The Walking Dead (questionable, I know), Scrubs, and Parenthood. Add your favorites to my list, then answer this: what do all these shows/movies/music have in common?

    There are a couple of answers, but the one I want to focus on today is that they all have a message. Sometimes it's obvious, like in the show "The Resident" they consistently and blatantly call out corruption in the medical industry. Sometimes the dialogue is just commentary on the state of the current medical industry in America. Sometimes it is not so obvious, or even purposefully hidden. Almost every modern TV show has some level of endorsement (or promotion) of the LGBTQ+ agenda (representation, typically in a positive light), sexual freedom (normalized outside of a marriage relationship), and even a distortion of the role of marriage in the family unit.

    Without realizing it, many of us have probably internalized these ideas into the way we think about life and what is right or true. Even though the above things directly conflict with what God says is right and true, those ideas have become so entangled in our minds that it can be hard to figure out what's really true and what's not.

    I'm going to teach you a new word for this post: Extricate. According to Merriam-Webster, to extricate is "to free or remove from an entanglement or difficulty". The idea is disentangling. Imagine you're fishing and you go to use a net to pull the fish you've caught out of the water and into the boat. Only, it turns out to not be a fish, but an eel. I've done this, and it's gross. The eel writhes in the nets and becomes completely entangled, to the point where it's easier to just cut the net than try to get it out. Well, if you want to keep the net, you're going to have extricate the eel from the net. You have to untangle it and remove it from the net.

    So, how do we extricate ourselves from the messages we're receiving from the world? Well, in the example above, the truth is the eel, and the world is the net we're trying to extricate ourselves from. We have to identify the truth (which is found in God's Word) and separate it from the lies of the world.

Romans 12:1-2 - "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

    Paul, the author of Romans, urges us to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice - that means we surrender everything over to God, including our minds. He says this is true and proper worship. And if we have offered our bodies as a living sacrifice, then we have to stop conforming to the pattern of the world. Conforming means that we change ourselves (our beliefs, our behaviors, etc.) to fit in with the way of the world. Conforming to the patter of the world means we are allowing our beliefs to be molded by the world. And Paul says STOP! STOP doing this! You have received God's mercy! You have been made new in Christ, with a new identity and a new mind! Stop letting it get molded to fit in with the world!

    INSTEAD, let it be transformed and renewed so you can see and follow the will of God. Conforming means you change/mold something to fit in. Transforming means it becomes something else entirely. Rather than twist ourselves to fit in with the world, Paul says we need to be completely changed to be with God. How we go about doing this is simple:

Romans 8:5 - "For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit."

Colossians 3:1-4 - "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."

Philippians 4:4-9 - "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about such things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me – practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."

    Did you notice a pattern throughout? Paul wrote all of these, and the message is clear: set your minds on the things of God. If you want to have a transformed and renewed mind, you have to set it on the things of God. You have to think about those things, meditate on those things (go read Psalm 1), and live out those things. It all comes to down to focus. The people of the world are going to have their minds set on worldly things: pleasures, gratification, wealth, health, success ,power, etc. That's the pattern of the world, and all their ideas and worldviews are going to center around the pursuit of those things.

    Paul says we are not to conform to that pattern. We have to think differently. Those who are in Christ are called to think like Christ. How do we do that? By setting our minds on the things that are above. By setting our minds on the things of God.

Paul even gives a little summary of the kinds of things we should be setting our minds on. Things that are:

True

Honorable

Just

Pure

Lovely

Commendable

Excellent

Praiseworthy

    All of these are to be understood within the context of the Bible. The Bible is where we find God's established and enduring truth. He sets the standard here, which is why in all things we have to set our minds on Him.

    And Paul doesn't stop at thinking about these things. He says we should practice them. If we know what's true, we should speak it and live by it. If we know what is honorable, we should do it. If we know what is just, we should uphold it. If we know what is pure, we should seek it. If we know what is lovely, we should admire and protect it. If we know what is commendable, we should go and do likewise. If we know what is excellent, we should strive for it in everything we do. If we know what is praiseworthy, or rather, who is praiseworthy, we should should praise Him.

    It's not enough to come to youth group or go to church on a Sunday and hear a message from the Word. It's not even enough to read the Bible at home or in a quiet time. It's not enough to join a Bible study or talk about the Bible in Family groups. If you are reading the Bible, or hearing messages from it, but not living it out as a result, then you've missed the point. God doesn't want you to just have some head knowledge about Him, He wants you to offer your life as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to Him. He wants you to live according to His Word.

    In Romans 12:1-2 Paul gives us the reason why we should have our minds be transformed and renewed: so that we will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will. What is the point of knowing God's will if we are not going to follow it. As we take in more and more of the truth of God's Word, it should completely and radically change the way we live and approach the world. As we focus on the things of God, the things that don't match up will become more and more obvious to us.

If you want to extricate yourself from the lies of the world, you need to focus on the truth.

    The world throws its ideas and agendas at you every day through the media, TV, movies, social media, music, and even school curriculum. You are being bombarded on a daily basis with the pattern of the world. The only way to be extricated and safeguard against this bombardment is by setting your mind on the things above. Read the Word of God, focus on the truth, and live by it. Allow God to transform and renew your mind so that you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will.

    A good exercise for you would be to observe the next TV show you watch (or movie, or the next song you listen to, etc.). Ask yourself, "What is this show/movie/song trying to say? And is it true?"

    Sometimes it will be obvious, but most of the time it won't be. Practice discernment - identifying what is true and what is not - and allow God to transform you.

Questions? Post them in the comments below.

Can You Love the Sinner and Hate the Sin?

 Short answer: Yes.

    When I was a kid I did some pretty awful stuff. I used to argue with my mom over everything, I talked back to both of my parents, I cursed at them only once, I kicked my older brother and hit my younger sister, I lied, I cheated on HW, quizzes and tests, I forged my mom's signature on those HWs, quizzes, and tests, and definitely a lot more stuff that I'm just not remembering.

    Sometimes I got away with it - my mom didn't find out about me forging her signature until I told her years later. Usually, though, I got caught and was punished. If the bad thing involved my words, I got my mouth washed out with soap. If it involved physical violence, I got spanked. I got spanked a lot. And if it involved something else, I would get sent to my room or wouldn't be allowed to watch TV or play videogames. The points is my parents disciplined me when I did something bad.

    Now, why am I telling you this? Because my parents loved me. A lot. And they still love me a lot. If I got hurt, even from doing something bad, they bandaged me up. They cared for me. They loved me.

    A phrase that gets used a lot in the church today is "Love the sinner, hate the sin". Recently, our culture has been arguing against this phrase, claiming that it does more harm than good. They claim that if you love someone, you have to accept them for who they are and what they do. They claim that you can't separate these things, so if you "love the sinner" you must also "love the sin". But this isn't what biblical love is. This isn't what we're talking about when we say to love the sinner and hate the sin. Let's dive into the classic "love" passage of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, and see what God has to say about what biblical love is.

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

We can learn three basic lessons of biblical love from this passage:

1. Biblical love surpasses everything else we can do.

    Love is more important than knowledge, more important than prophecy, more important than spiritual gifts, more important than faith, more important than generosity, and more important than sacrifice. All of these things are good, but if they do not drive you to a love for God and a love for others, then you have missed the point. If you are lacking in love, nothing else matters.

2. Biblical love looks to the ultimate benefit of others.

    If we were to restate the middle part of this passage as a summary of what love is, it would read like this: Love is patient, kind, content, humble, respectful, selfless, slow to anger, and forgiving. A biblically loving person protects others, trusts others, maintains a hope for others, and perseveres through hardship (caused by others). These characteristics have the best needs and interests of others at heart.

3. Biblical love lasts forever.

    Love is not a feeling that comes and goes with our emotions - it lasts into eternity. Eventually all prophecies are going to be fulfilled, eventually all knowledge will be complete, but beyond those things are faith, hope and love - with love being the greatest of the three. Biblical love lasts forever because it comes from God. We love Him and others because He first loved us:

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God's one and only Son." John 3:16-18

    God's love for us prompted Him to come to the earth as a man and die for our sins so we could be reunited with Him forever. He took our punishment on Himself so that we could have everlasting life. And this is a FREE GIFT to everyone who believes in Jesus. This is the Gospel. This is the love of God. This is biblical love.

Biblical love is a choice that we make to put the needs of others before ourselves.

To put the needs of others before ourselves.

What are the needs of others?

    Let's look back at my childhood self. I was doing some pretty awful stuff - perhaps characteristic of most kids, but awful nonetheless. Disobeying my parents, harming my siblings both verbally and physically, and all around just being dishonest. What I needed was exactly what my parents gave me: correction. They disciplined me to show me that those behaviors were unacceptable and that I needed to change.

1 Corinthians 13:6 says, "Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."

    My parents loved me, and because they loved me they did not affirm my evil behaviors. Instead, out of love for me, they corrected those evil behaviors. They loved me, but hated what I was doing. And that involved correction. It involved speaking the truth of God's Word into my life and showing me what was right and good and what I ought to do - they didn't delight in evil; they rejoiced with the truth.

    We see this same concept all through the Old Testament between God and the nation of Israel. Israel was His chosen people, and yet they didn't always follow Him. Quite often Israel rebelled against God and did what was evil in His sight. He hated what they were doing, but as you read the Old Testament, did He ever stop loving them? No. Sure, He punished them for their evil deeds, but His love for them never ceased. He loved them, all the while hating their sin.

    What I needed as a child was correction, and what the Israelites needed was correction, too. People today need correction. Even many Christians have fallen far away from God's will of what is right and good. But each person's first and foremost need, above everything else, is the Gospel. They need the everlasting life that comes by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. In Jesus we have forgiveness for our sin, restoration in our relationship with God, and everlasting life. Correction and life transformation come after that need for life is met, through the working of the Holy Spirit.

    I'd like to clarify quickly that there is a difference between our biggest need and our immediate needs. If we come across someone dying of thirst, but instead of offering them water we only share the Gospel with them - and they die before we even finish sharing - we have not met their needs and we have not loved them. In a situation like that, the loving thing to do would be to meet their immediate need and then share the Gospel. But, if we only meet the immediate need (giving them water) and don't share the Gospel, then once again we have not loved them because while they may live a little longer, they will die without forgiveness for their sin, restoration in their relationship with God, and everlasting life. They will go to eternal torment. Neglecting to share the Gospel is not loving.

    When we see people living in sin - sexual immorality, addictions, idolatry, dishonesty, lust, greed, etc. - we are NOT called to affirm those people in their sin. No. We are called to LOVE those people. And what that requires is that we speak the truth - in love - to them. 

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Romans 3:23-24

    They are sinners, in need of a Savior. We, too, were once sinners in need of a Savior. And by His grace, we are justified through the redemption that came by Jesus. They need to know that regardless of their sin, they can be forgiven and saved through faith in Jesus Christ. He is the way and the truth and the life. To not share this truth with them is to truly hate them.

    Now, if you're sitting there and you're thinking "this is too hard" or "it's really intimidating to share the Gospel", here are three things you can do to prepare to love others the way God has called to:

1. Lean into your personal relationship with Jesus.*

    Through your faith in Jesus you are connected to God's unconditional love for you. His love has changed you and is continually making you more and more like Jesus. Embrace that.

2. Develop a desire for making disciples.*

    Just as you have been changed to be more like Jesus, grow a desire to see others become more like Jesus. Pray that they would see the truth of God's Word and respond with faith.

3. Believe that Jesus can change anyone.*

    If He can change you, and if He can change me, then He can change anyone - you have to believe that He has the power to radically change anyone. What God has done for you and me, He can do for others. Believe it.

    As you prepare in these ways, continually pray for God to bring the right people into your life to support and encourage you in your Christian walk. Then go, live as God has called you to live, and share the truth with the people around you. In this way you will demonstrate love to the sinner, all the while leading them from their sin to their Savior.

Amen.

*These points are borrowed (and reworded) from Steve Schramm's article "How to Love Others Without Condoning Their Actions" which is a good read and helped me formulate my thoughts in this post.

All At Once a Gentle and Thundering Noise

     I've found myself listening to "Overwhelmed" by Big Daddy Weave a lot recently (hopefully I don't get in some kind of copyright trouble for quoting their lyrics in the title). In the song they have this line in the second verse: "I hear the sound of your voice, all at once it's a gentle and thundering noise, oh God, all that You are is so overwhelming". This past weekend we took a bunch of students up to our Winter Retreat for a weekend of worship, fellowship, and time in God's Word. For the last decade we've been basically running our own camp - setting the schedule, lining up a band and a speaker, running the games, etc. And for the most part, especially the last couple of years, we were there by ourselves (just our church). This year we decided to join a retreat that the camp planned, which meant they ran the show, set the schedule, and invited a bunch of other churches to join in.

    For the first time in years we had other youth groups to fellowship with. It was pretty cool. The whole weekend was awesome, except for one part: there was no designated "Quiet Time" or "Time Alone with God" on the schedule. Whenever we ran our own camp, we were always careful to have specific times in the morning for the students and leaders to find a quiet space and spend time in God's Word. This past weekend, that didn't happen. So when we gathered on Saturday night to unpack what God had been saying to us throughout the weekend, like we normally do, many of the students felt like they hadn't heard from God at all.

    As I was sharing this message last night, I asked some of my leaders to make distracting noises during the message (and to try to be somewhat subtle about it). Then, as I was about to reveal what I thought the reason was as to why people weren't hearing from God, I coordinated with Emilie to blast super loud music over what I was saying. In case you're curious, it was the original Power Rangers theme song (they went so hard in that song). Naturally, no one could hear what I was saying over the music - it was too loud. So I signaled to Emilie to stop it and the other leaders to stop their distractions. It took a while, but I waited for the room to go silent (yall just love to make comments). Once it was completely silent, I repeated what I had said during the loud music, this time in a low whisper:

The reason we find it so hard to hear God's voice in our lives is because our lives are so full of noise that we never stop to listen and hear how God is speaking to us every day.

1 Kings 19:11-13 - "And he said, 'Go out and stand on the mount before the LORD.' And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, 'What are you doing here, Elijah?'"

    We often expect God to speak with great power and in a big, booming voice. After all, He is the Creator of all things - and He created the universe by speaking it into exist. We would expect such a powerful being to have a powerful voice. And when God has an important message or a challenge to give, He will shout it so you can't miss it. We can see this at work with Saul/Paul on the road to Damascus, when Jesus suddenly appears to him and calls out to him. We also see it when God spoke through the prophets of the Old Testament. But the Bible shows us that God doesn't want to always have to shout to get our attention. He doesn't always speak through great winds, earthquakes, or fires. Sometimes He will speak in a whisper. This is because He wants to have a relationship with us, and He wants us to want to hear Him.

John 10:27 - "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me."

Revelation 3:20 - "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me."

Jeremiah 29:11-13 - "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart."

    The Bible is very clear that God is interested in more than just our obedience or our worship - He wants us to know Him. Knowing Him should lead us to obedience and worship. The very existence of the Bible, which we call "God's Word", is evidence that He wants us to know Him. God reveals Himself to us in the Bible. He talks to us through the Bible. And that's why it is so important to find quiet times. It is why we found it so hard to hear from God when we were at the Winter Retreat this past weekend, because we weren't being quiet and listening.

    We can find plenty of examples throughout the Old and New Testaments of people finding quiet time alone with God. Genesis indicates that Adam and Eve probably got to walk and talk with God every day in the Garden of Eden (before the Fall). Moses' first encounter with God was in the wilderness, when he was alone. Samuel was trying to sleep as a young child when he first heard God speak to him. Daniel spent time alone in prayer every day, which is what got him sent to the lion's den.

    As Christians, our most important example is the one Jesus set for us. In Matthew 4 His first step in ministry was to spend forty days and nights fasting in the wilderness - He was spending time with His Father in preparation for His ministry. In Luke 6, before He chose who among His disciples would become "the 12", Jesus spends an entire night on a mountainside in prayer. And the night before He would be arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus spent many hours in prayer. These are only a few of the many examples in the Gospels of Jesus retreating to a quiet and solitary place to spend time with God.

What does quiet time accomplish?

Proverbs 2:1-10 - "My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity; every good path; for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;"

    When we spend quiet time with God, what we are doing is exactly what the author of Proverbs is talking about. We are spending time in the Word of God, inclining our hearts and making our ears attentive to God's voice - we are actively listening to what God has spoken to us in His Word. He says we should seek wisdom and understanding with the same intensity that we seek money and treasure. When we seek God in quiet times with that kind of eagerness, we will find wisdom and understanding.

Paul says pretty much the same thing in a more familiar passage:

Romans 12:1-2 - "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

    How can we be transformed and have our minds renewed? By spending time in God's Word and listening for God's whispering voice. We have to find a quiet place and remove distractions. That means you don't take your phone with you to that place. I would encourage you to not even play music (even worship music). Do your best to find a place of true silence and solitude. Then, open up your Bible, the Word of God, and listen as He speaks to you through the words on the page. When you stop reading, don't just close the Bible and walk away. Think about what you read. Meditate on it. Ask God to show you what it means, to help you understand it. And yes, I am saying to spend time in prayer. But don't limit yourself to the typical "letter" format of prayer. You know, the "Dear God, blah blah blah, amen." Ask questions, look back into the Word for answers. If you have doubts or don't understand something, talk about it with God and give Him time to respond. Prayer is supposed to be a dialogue, not a monologue, and for the most part God's part of the conversation has already been written.

    If you want to hear God's voice in your life, spend quiet time with Him. Don't set a time limit. Some days you might only spend a few minutes, and other days you may spend half an hour. The important thing is to quiet down all of the noise in your life so that you can make your ear attentive to the Word of God.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

How to Speak the Truth in Love

 Ephesians 4:15 says, "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." Then, in 1 Peter 3:15 the author writes, "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect". Throughout the New Testament, Christians are given the command to go out and speak the truth to the world. And every time, Christians are called to do this in a loving way, with gentleness and respect. So the question for today is: how do we speak the truth in love?

Whenever we ask this question, we have to consider who it is that we are speaking to. How we go about speaking the truth in love will be different if we are speaking to fellow Christians versus speaking to non-Christians.

Christians:

Let's first look at how we are to speak the truth in love with fellow believers. To do this, let's take a deeper look into Ephesians 4. For the sake of space, I was going to ask you to go read the chapter for yourself then come back, but then I figured I might as well just share it here:

1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

7 But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. 8 This is why it says:

“When he ascended on high,

    he took many captives

    and gave gifts to his people.”

9 (What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? 10 He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) 11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.

20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

 Whew, that's a lot. Let's break it down.

Those who are "in Christ" (Christians) are called to live together in unity and maturity, and we accomplish this by being humble, gentle, patient, and loving toward each other. We are able to be this way with each other because we are all one in Jesus Christ - we hope in the same salvation, follow the same God, and live by the same Spirit which allows us to look past our differences. And we all have a role to fulfill within the community which, when everyone is doing their part, brings us together in unity and helps us all to grow in maturity.

When this is all done well, we are able to constantly look back to the Bible for answers and truth, and call each other out when we start to go astray - which prevents false teaching and wrong ideas from gaining a foothold in the church. This is why it is so important for each of us to read and know the Bible, so that we can point ourselves and others to the truth.

In order for this kind of community and life to be firmly established, each person in the community has to choose to put aside the ways and the thinking of the world. Instead, we choose to follow Jesus and His Word (the Bible). Anyone who claims to be a Christian is making the claim that they have made this choice. "Christian" means "little Christ" and we use the term to designate those who choose to follow Him.

Finally, at the end of the chapter, Paul gets specific with the kinds of behaviors we should or should not have toward each other. Speak truth, work diligently, be generous, speak only what is going to build others up. Get rid of unwholesome talk, bitterness, anger, rage, brawling, slander, and every form of malice. Instead, be kind and compassionate, and forgive each other in the same way that Jesus has forgiven you.

All of this is directed at those who believe in Jesus as they interact with others who also believe in Jesus. This is for those who are within the church, that we should hold each other accountable in a loving way. When people claim to be Christians but go against what the Bible teaches, we are called to challenge them on it. Why? Because in claiming to be a Christian, they are claiming to follow His Word (a.k.a. the Bible). Our challenge is meant to bring them back to the Bible, and show them how what they're doing or teaching goes against what the Bible says.

For example, we have been talking about biblical sexuality and identity in the last two posts (go read them if you haven't already). We have established that in the Bible, God instituted that sex is to be between a man and a woman in marriage. That is what He ordained when He created the world. Any deviation from God's design, from His order, is sin.

So, when someone comes along claiming to be a Christian and also claiming that homosexuality is not sinful, we are called to challenge them on it. Why are we called to do this? Because they claim to follow Jesus but also teach against what the Bible says. There is a disconnect between what they claim to believe and what they're teaching. Now, how do we challenge them?

First, we have a private conversation with them. We take them aside, asking questions to make sure we understand what they're saying. Then we point them to the Bible, like the passages I talked about in the post "Biblical Sexuality: Setting the Foundation". The goal is to show them the truth as found in the Bible, and the disconnect with what they're teaching. If, after this conversation, they refuse to accept what the Bible teaches, then we go and bring someone else with us, preferably someone with higher authority (like an Elder or Pastor). If they still won't listen, then we bring it to the church as a whole. Again, the goal in each of these conversations is to show them the truth of God's Word, and how they have gone away from that truth. If, after all of this, they still will not listen or accept the Bible's teaching, we are called to exclude them from the church.

Why is this? Some kind of punishment? No, net really. Essentially, what they have done is claimed to follow Jesus but rejected His teaching. That doesn't work, logically. You can't both follow and reject Jesus. The purpose of excluding them from the church is to demonstrate how serious this matter is: a Christian who will not submit to God's Word has a serious heart issue, and until they are able to recognize that and humble themselves and submit to God, their continued participation in worship and fellowship with other believers will cause a lot of damage. Not to mention that their beliefs will open up a pathway for false teaching to enter the church. This cannot be allowed to happen, which is why we are called to remove them from the church.

But, remember how Paul says we are to go about this: with love and gentleness, without unwholesome speech, slander, or rage. That means we don't yell, put them down, or curse them at any point in these conversations. Even at the point where we need to exclude someone from our fellowship, we aren't supposed to do it with violence or malice. Our goal, even in exclusion, is to bring them to a knowledge and acceptance of the truth.

Non-Christians:

But what about those who don't believe? What about people who are not Christians?

Romans 10:9-17:

“⁹ If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰ For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. ¹¹ As Scripture says, ‘Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.’ ¹² For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, ¹³ for, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’ ¹⁴ How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? ¹⁵ And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!’ ¹⁶ But not all the Israelites accepted the good news. For Isaiah says, ‘Lord, who has believed our message?’ ¹⁷ Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.”

Those who are outside the faith are not going to accept Jesus' teaching until they have accepted Jesus.

Read that again.

Our goal, first and foremost, is to share the gospel with non-believers. That's the truth they need to hear. If they haven't heard the gospel or haven't put their faith in Jesus, then nothing else the Bible says will mean anything to them. So, what is the gospel?

There is a God who created the whole universe, including you and me.

He established everything perfect and good.

But we rebelled against Him. This rebellion is called sin. We are sinners.

Sin separates us from God and will ultimately bring us death. There is nothing we can do to fix this problem on our own.

God loves us, even though we are sinners. He came to the earth as a man, Jesus Christ, and died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins.

He took our deaths on Himself, so that by believing in Him, we could have eternal life and be reunited with God forever.

This is where Paul's statement comes in - anyone who declares with their mouth "Jesus is Lord" and believes in their heart that God raised Him from the dead will be saved. Everyone who follows Jesus will be forgiven for their sin and made right with God.

Our mission, as given to us directly by Jesus, is to make disciples of all nations, baptizing them and teaching them to obey everything that Jesus taught. We "make disciples" by sharing the gospel with people and calling them to repent (turn from their sin) and believe in Him as their Lord and Savior. When someone comes to Christ, they cast off who they used to be and become made new in Jesus. They are called to let go of their old way of thinking and grab hold of the truth of God's Word.

People need to know that they are sinners, and they need to know that salvation can be found in Jesus Christ. Too often we see the church spreading a message of hate toward the LGBTQ+ community, focusing so heavily on the fact that they are sinners that we forget to share the good news - that Jesus has paid for their sin on the cross, just as He paid for our sin.

But, as Paul asked in Romans, how are they going to call on the name of Jesus if no one has proclaimed the good news of the gospel to them?

Now, not everyone is going to believe. Paul mentions how some of the people of Israel rejected Jesus. As we go about this, sharing the gospel, we have to expect that people are going to reject Jesus, and, consequently, reject us. But we still have to tell them about Jesus, because if we won't, who will? Each of you reading this have friends or coworkers who don't know Jesus. If you don't tell them about Him, who will?

The most important truth non-believers need to hear is that Jesus Christ came and died for their sin, and that He rose again to bring them eternal life with God. Everything else comes after that essential truth. If they won't accept that, they won't accept anything else God has to say through the Bible.

But again, how are we to do this? With love, gentleness, patience, kindness, compassion and respect. Without yelling, anger, slander, malice or cursing.

Anytime we are going to speak the truth to someone, here are some basic guidelines to make sure we are going about it the right way and with the right motives:

1. Listen before you speak. Try to understand where they're coming from as best as you can - don't just assume you know their perspective. Ask questions, let them clarify, and seek to understand.

2. Check yourself. Make sure your intentions are good - are you starting this conversation for their benefit or is there some other motivation under the surface?

3. Watch your words. Keep it simple and calm. Remember, you can't "unsay" anything. Your words can either bring them to a knowledge and understanding of the truth or they can tear them down and cause lasting damage to their life and faith.

4. Pray before, during, and after the conversation. Ultimately, God is the one who is going to work in their lives, so ask Him for guidance throughout the whole situation.

5. Trust in God. Trust that His Word is true, trust that He will help you, and trust that He will care for this other person.

Christian or non-Christian, we are called to speak the truth in love to others. This takes intentionality, it takes practice, and it takes trusting God in everything we say and do. Ultimately, our goal is always to bring people closer to God and to His Word.

The 4 Loves

 SO, our last post covered a discussion on what it means to truly love God, but based on the feedback I got from each of the Family Groups it seems like a lot of yall got hung up on the idea of love. What even is love? And when we talk about love in the Bible, what do we mean? This can be really hard to understand sometimes because in English, we use love in a variety of ways. For example, the following statements are all 100% true:

I love coffee.

I love my mom.

I love my wife.

I love God.

Those are all true statements, but when you think about it, I don't love coffee the same way I love my mom, and I don't love my mom the same way I love my wife, and I don't love any of them the same way I love God. So, even though I am using the same word in all of those statements (love), I mean different things each time. This is why it can be so confusing for us when we are talking about "love" in the Bible. With that in mind, let's look at the four primary words for love in Greek (Greek is the language that the New Testament was originally written in, and these four words all get translated into English as "love").

1. Storge.

Storge is best described as a "fondness of familiarity". It is a bond that comes from shared experiences and circumstances, like being in the same family. You don't get to choose your biological family, but they are still your family. Even if you don't always like them, if they come under threat most of the time you will come to their defense. So, you might call this family devotion. A common trope in media is how siblings will hate each other and get on each others nerves, but when someone else shows up and starts messing around, the siblings immediately defend each other. You might hear the phrase, "Nobody gets to mess with my little brother but me." That's the idea of storge love.

2. Eros.

This is probably the most familiar kind of love for you, because it is what we might think of as "romantic" love. This is a physical, intimate love between a husband and wife, and it is also the idea of "being in love". Eros love is the most prevalent kind of love portrayed in media, although they usually reduce it to more of a lust/passion than actual love. Regardless, most of the time when we use the word "love" in English, this is the kind of love we think about. This is also the closest we get to love being a feeling, since there is an element of feeling involved with this.

Here is the interesting part, just like we use this version of love all the time in our culture today, so too did the culture in Jesus' day when the New Testament was written. Eros love was used and talked about all the time. HOWEVER, this word doesn't get used once in the whole New Testament. Whenever the New Testament authors talk about love, they are never referring to eros love. They DO address the idea of sexuality and passion, but almost always in a context of setting proper boundaries.

3. Philos.

Philos love is the warm affection found between good friends and family members. This is an essential love for the human experience, as we are created as social beings. We need friends and positive relationships in our lives, and philos love is the expression of those relationships. Philos love goes a lot deeper than what we might call friendship, because when we think of our friendships a lot of times they are built around common interests or settings but don't go very deep. Philos-level friendships are very deep and strong bonds that hold people together. Jesus had a philos love friendship with Lazarus and His disciples. David (from the Old Testament) and Jonathan also had this kind of friendship.

Romans 12:10 - "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."

The underlined part there, "brotherly affection" is actually a combination of storge and philos. Paul took these two forms of love and mashed them together to describe the kind of bonds we should have with fellow believers. This is because we are not only bonded together through the shared circumstance of being part of the family of God, but we are also bonded through our shared faith in Christ and call to obedience. Its a powerful family-friendship love that we are called to have for each other as Christians. Do you love your fellow believers like this?

4. Agape.

The pinnacle of biblical love, agape love is an unconditional love. No matter the circumstances, experiences, values, behaviors, actions, words, or anything else, agape love perseveres. In the Bible, this stands out as the highest form of love. Agape love is the kind of love that God has for us. When Jesus sacrificed Himself on the cross for the sins of the world, He demonstrated agape love. No matter what we do, God still loves us (and good thing, too). We sin? God loves us. We fight against God? He still loves us. We decide to start hating God? God still loves us. No matter what the conditions are, God continues and will always love us.

John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."

Guess which Greek word is used in John 3:16? That's right, agape. It doesn't say "For God was so devoted to His family..." or "For God was so in love with the world..." or "For God was such good friends with the world..." No. It says "For God so unconditionally loved the world..." He put us first, even though we didn't deserve it.

Matthew 22:37 - "Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'"

Once again, Jesus uses "agape" for the kind of love we are to have for God. We should unconditionally love God with all of our being (heart, soul, and mind). In the Mark version of this statement, Jesus includes our strength, and if you recall our discussion from last week, He set up a totem pole of priorities for us: God > everyone else > me. We are to unconditionally love God with everything we have, and then love others as well.

When we read through 1 Corinthians 13 (the famous love chapter), Paul uses agape for love throughout that passage. He isn't talking about romantic love, or friendship love, but unconditional love, and the kind of love that we are to have for others because that is the kind of love God has for us.

Now, I want to make sure we are all clear on this: when we talk about loving God, loving fellow believers, and loving those out in the world, we are not talking about eros love - the idea of being in love with someone. Biblical love has nothing to do with romance. Instead, when we talk about biblical love, we are talking about the choice we make to put others first unconditionally.

I can love others (and you) unconditionally because that is the kind of love God has for me. With my sin I have hated God, spat at Him, made fun of Him, and my sin was part of what put Him on the cross. And yet, He still loves me. Jesus still died for me. He gave me the example of what true agape love looks like, and He has called each of us to have that same kind of love for Him and for each other.

What would it look like for you to love God the way He has loved you?

What would it look like for you to love other believers unconditionally?

What would it look like for you to truly put the needs of others before your own and live like Jesus lived?

The First Commandment With a Promise

Raise your hand if you have, at one time or another, had parents.

Yup, that's what I thought. We've all had parents, otherwise we wouldn't be here. Last night we took a deep look at what the Bible has to say about our relationship with our parents. Some of you out there might have a great relationship with your parents, and I am sure that some of the rest of you are having a hard time remembering the last time you and your parents got along.

Before we jump into this, let me say this: you cannot control your parents' part in the relationship. They have a responsibility in raising you, and God has plenty of commands for them in doing that well. But you can't control that. Only they can. You can only control your part in the relationship, and that's what we're focusing on here.

Exodus 20:12, one of the 10 Commandments, says this: "Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." I don't know about you, but I don't use the word honor so much these days. This is why I am so glad the apostle Paul gives us some insight to this command in Ephesians 6:1-4: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother' - which is the first commandment with a promise - 'so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.' Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

I included that last part because that happens to be my mom's favorite verse to quote. Know why? It only mentions fathers. It says nothing about mothers exasperating their children. She loves that technicality. Anyway, this is one of those verses focused on the parents, so let's back up.

Paul says to obey your parents in the Lord before quoting the commandment. I think he anticipated us asking what it means to honor our parents, so he clarified it for us. Basically, "to honor" means "to obey". It is that simple. If we want to obey this commandment from God, it means we have to obey our parents. I like cookies, but that is a tough cookie to swallow. Chew on that for a bit. God wants us, no, commands us to obey our parents. What happens if we don't? Well, it's right there - it won't go well with you and even if you do manage to live a long life, you won't enjoy it. In the book of Romans Paul gives us some context for the severity of breaking this command (not obeying our parents). Romans 1:28-32: "Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed, and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them."

This is an intense list of wickedness, and you notice something included in there? Disobeying parents is listed right alongside murder, slander, greed, and adultery (infidelity). And according to these verses, anyone who does any of these things deserves death - so we know God is serious when He commands us to obey our parents. According to the Bible (and there is no getting around this), Christians are commanded to obey their parents.

There's one more thing I want to highlight from Ephesians, and that is Paul's phrasing. He says to obey... in the Lord. We are called to obey our parents, however, God remains our first priority. What this means is that if at any point our parents (or any authority in our lives, for that matter) tell us to do something that goes against what God says is right (lie, steal, cheat, murder, etc.), obeying God comes before obeying our parents. Jesus said it this way in Luke 14:26: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters - yes, even their own life - such a person cannot be my disciple." Before you go too far down the hate trail let me explain this real quick. While the word "hate" carries a sense of strong dislike and even malice in our use of it today, back then it meant "turn away from". So what Jesus is saying here is that if we are to follow Him, to be Christians, we have to turn away from our parents, our children (if we have any), our siblings, and even our own lives and turn toward Him. He has to be our number one priority, He has to come first, or else we are only deceiving ourselves into thinking we are Christians. A true Christian follows and obeys Christ first, and that's what Paul means when he says we are to obey our parents "in the Lord".

Alright, so, the other half of having a good relationship with our parents comes down to our communication. If you are sitting there reading this and you would say that you don't have a good relationship with your parents, ask yourself this: "How well do we communicate?" My guess is that it's not well at all.

Proverbs 1:8-9 says this: "Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck." Proverbs is perhaps the largest collection of wisdom we have, and it has a lot to say about how to be wise and succeed in life. You want to know one of the main ingredients in getting wisdom? Listening. And right from the start the author talks about listening to your parents. Well, listening is also one of the key ingredients to good communication. James 1:19 puts it like this: "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."

If you want to have a better relationship with your parents, you MUST learn how to listen. And I don't mean just hearing the words that come out of their mouths, waiting for your chance to speak. I mean really listening. Hearing what they have to say and trying to understand where they are coming from. When you learn how to do this, to slow down and listen to what your parents are saying, it will radically change your relationship. As I said earlier, you can't control whether they will respond by listening to you, but just stopping and listening can prevent a lot of the arguing, anger, and slamming of doors that tends to happen in "conversations" with your parents.

So, from Scripture we have a very strong command to obey our parents, even when we don't want to or we'll miss out on something if we do. We also have advice on how to improve our communication with our parents, which is simply by listening first. Almost all of the tension between parents and children comes from a lack of good communication. If you can learn how to listen without being dismissive, I promise you your relationship will improve dramatically.

Sometimes the issues we have with our parents run deeper than a lack of communication or obedience. Sometimes there is serious hurt or trauma that has impacted the relationship you have with your parents, and in situations like this I advise you to seek out godly counsel. Find someone who can help you figure out what to do or how to go about repairing the relationship. I am here, if you need someone to talk to, as are the other youth group leaders. And even if what you're facing is beyond us, we can point you to someone who can help. Don't just give up and sit in a bad relationship with your parents, talk to God and look for help.

And finally, remember that every Christian has been adopted by God as His son or daughter. We are His children. So all of those things I said above, yeah, they apply to our relationship with God, too. What would happen in your life if you obeyed God, and listened to Him on a daily basis? I think some amazing things would happen. God bless.