What Do You Do When Life Feels Hopeless

 This post is now two and a half weeks late. Oops.

As I wasn't the speaker for this message, you get the super-condensed version that I can glean from the notes. ;) You're welcome.

    This is part 3 of a series of messages which build on each other. You can look back at previous posts to go in-depth, but so far we have talked about our dependency on God, that we all must rely on Him for life and salvation, and that we also have each other to lean on in times of trouble and strife.

    Life comes with a lot of struggles. Whatever phase of life you are in, I guarantee you're facing some kind of struggle, anxiety, or stress. When things get really bad, it can feel awful to need to rely on others for support, but it is important for us to remember that as a church, we are a support network for each other.

    The thing is, a support network can only get us so far. Ultimately, we have to go back to the first lesson and remember that we all must rely on God. When things get dark, look to the Light.

James 5:13 - "Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray."

Mark 11:24 - "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

Matthew 6:7-8 - "And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."

    When we are facing darkness, in the midst of darkness, or overwhelmed by darkness, we are told to look to the Lord in prayer. He is there for you, just as He was there for the people we read about in the Bible.

    As you read through the Psalms of David, you will see him over and over crying out to the Lord in desperation, in anguish, in darkness. And often he doesn't get the answer he was looking for, but he is reminded of the steadfast love of the Lord and all the good He has done in his life, and his anguish turns to praise.

    Jesus promised all those who follow Him that He would always be with them. And that doesn't mean He will deliver us from every situation or circumstance, but it does mean He will be there with us through those situations and circumstances as a support and a comfort.

    So, if you're struggling, if life is hard right now, or you are just feeling down, I have two encouragements for you. First, share your burden with some other believers. Find a community of Christians you can trust and share your struggles with them, let them be a support for you. Second, look to the Lord in prayer. Bring your struggles, bring your sorrows, bring your anxieties, bring your strife, bring your darkness to Him and let Him comfort and guide you through. Let Him be the lamp to your feet and the light to your path.

When life feels hopeless, look to the One who gives hope to all who believe.

We Need Each Other

    In the last post we took a look at our basic need for God - our dependency on Him for salvation and eternal life. The gist of it is, we cannot get salvation, forgiveness for our sins, or eternal life on our own. The standard to get it is nothing short of perfection. If you're less than perfect (and you are less than perfect, sorry to burst your bubble there), then you cannot get to God. There is nothing you can do. And this is why Jesus came to the earth. He lived the perfect life we never could. He paid the penalty for all of our sins like we never could (His death on the cross). And He rose from the dead like we never could (and I don't mean His heart stopped for a few minutes - He was dead dead, like really dead for a couple of days). And what He accomplished in all of this was making a way for us to get to God. So, it is only by grace, through faith in Jesus, that we can be forgiven for our sins, receive salvation from Hell, and live forever with God. For that, we are entirely dependent on God.

    Ok, so that was a longer summary than I intended, but it needed to be said. I hope that puts it in perspective for you. So, if we are already entirely dependent on God for our salvation, then why do we try to stop there? Like, "Okay, God, thanks for the salvation and all but I got the rest of it on my own". No! That's not how we're meant to live, and it's not how we have to live. Jesus said to those who follow Him in Matthew 11:28-30:

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

    When we face trials, struggles, hardships, anxieties, stress, and anything else life has to throw at us, we are told by God that we can take these things to Him. We can continue to rely and depend on Him for comfort, peace, and guidance through whatever comes our way. That's an incredible hope, knowing that we can rely on the all-powerful God to see us through our struggles!

    But that's not all. Read through the following Bible verses and see if you can put together the common theme running throughout them all. (And try not to just skim, these verses are more important than anything I could say in this post - you'll benefit the most from these).

Psalm 133:1 - Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 - Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Matthew 18:20 - For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.

John 13:34-35 – A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Acts 2:42-47 - And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.

Acts 12:5 - So Peter was kept in prison, but earnest prayer for him was made to God by the church.

Romans 12:5 -  so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

Romans 12:10-13 - Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

1 Corinthians 12:25-27 - that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

Galatians 6:2 - Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Philippians 2:3-4 - So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Colossians 3:13 - bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Hebrews 10:24-25 - And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

James 5:16 – Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power as it is working.

1 Peter 3:8 - Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

1 Peter 4:8-10 - Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace.

1 John 1:7 - But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

Common theme?

Acceptable answers include: community, bearing with one another in love, loving each other, fellowship (if you want to use the church-y word), or anything along those lines.

    Throughout Scripture, God calls His people to bear with one another in love, to carry each others burdens, to support and encourage each other. He points out over and over the importance of having a solid community of faith around you. As you read through the New Testament in particular, almost every letter from the apostles includes some kind of call to love and support fellow believers. We just read through a bunch of them above.

    Life comes with highs and lows, and just as we can go to God with these - giving thanks for the good things and seeking guidance for the bad - we also ought to share our burdens with one another. We do not have to face life - or figure it out - alone. Our faith isn't just between us and God, but is shared with every other Christian in the world. That's a big community!

    God provided the "church" (the gathering or assembly of believers) so that we could gather together as a community and care for each other, not just so we could sing some songs, play some games, or hear some messages. Those are good things, but the real purpose of meeting together regularly like we do is to love one another and worship God together.

That's why Jesus boiled down the entire Old Testament Law into two commands:

1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

2. Love your neighbor as yourself.

    And just as we are loving our neighbor, they are loving us, and it's an amazing support network of fellow Jesus-followers.

    When you're at youth group, or for those of you who attend a church, do you ever feel like you can't open up? Do you ever feel like you can't share what's really going on under the surface? Do you ever feel like you have to put on your "happy face" and pretend everything is okay, even when it is not?

    I'll be honest, I used to feel this way all the time, especially in youth group. Even today, there are times when I feel like I have to shove the bad stuff down and smile. When I was in youth group, I felt like the other students wouldn't really care about what was going on, or that they would look at me different if they knew. And I know it can feel like that for you, too.

    But part of the purpose of Christian communities like a youth group or local church is for them to be a place where you can open up about what's going on in your life, where you can share the struggles and trials you're facing, and where the people around you can love and support and encourage you as you go through life.

    One of our leaders couldn't be at our meeting last night because a family in his other church had lost their child. He was with the family at the funeral, just being there for them as they mourned. When someone from our community goes through something devastating like that, we are called to show up, to be there for them in their hour of need. Likewise, when we are going through something, members of our community ought to show up, to be there for us.

    But, how can they be there if they don't know what's going on? This is why God places so much emphasis on sharing with each other and bearing each others burdens. I am not saying you have to tell every Christian you meet everything that's going on, but you should connect with your Family Group leaders, or other trusted members of your faith community, and open up about whatever struggles you're facing.

You don't have to face those things alone.

    I know that I am moving soon, and I won't be around in person after this summer is over, but just because I am not with you in person doesn't mean I have stopped caring about you. Wherever I am, and wherever you are, I want you to know that you can always call/text/email/dm me when you need someone to talk to. We are eternally bonded by our common faith in Jesus.

We depend on God.

We depend on each other.

We need each other.

Amen.

Suicide: Warning Signs and How to Help

So, we met on the 3rd floor last night for the first time since Covid-19 swept across the globe. It was a bittersweet experience since we didn't have PI making amazing FroZones for everyone. Maybe we will get up there one more time before he leaves and convince him to make us all drinks. We'll see.

We saw some old faces, we saw some new faces, we saw some young faces, and we saw some masked faces. With the Governor's decision to lift the mask mandate starting tomorrow, we won't see as many masked faces moving forward. My hope, however, is that even after social distancing restrictions are removed, people continue to respect the personal space of others. Who's with me on this?

Last night we tackled a topic most serious: suicide. Most of what we talked about can be found in this article on Life Church's website, but I would like to quickly summarize some of the key points that were made (especially since I think you need an account to view the article).

Firstly, let's talk about how prevalent (important) this issue is in our society today. In the late 1990's suicide rates among young people were actually declining (less people were taking their own lives). However, in the last two decades this has reversed and suicide rates among young people have been on the rise. Right now, suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people, the #1 cause being accidents. Back in 2016, more people in the U.S. died by suicide than by homicide - that means more people were taking their own life than were having it taken by someone else. That's disheartening, to say the least. In the next 24 hours, approximately 1,439 teenagers will attempt suicide, and about 80% of students who die by suicide never contact mental health services (they don't reach out for help).

This is a real problem in our society. Our young people are so disillusioned about life here on this earth, and so disheartened by the state of the world that they would rather take themselves out of it than remain. They see no bright future, no hope or reason to continue, so they opt out. Something needs to be done. Someone needs to do something. WE need to do something!

**I don't necessarily recommend watching the show "One Tree Hill" as there are a lot of twisted themes and perspectives throughout it, but if you want to see a powerful depiction of the kind of hopelessness that leads a young person to end their life, watch Season 3, Episode 16 - "With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept". I don't want anyone to go through the kind of hopelessness, depression, and despair that the student in this episode experienced.**

Signs to Watch Out For:

- Changes in eating habits

- Sad or depressed mood

- Loss of energy, motivation, or interest (especially in things they are usually passionate about)

- Withdrawal and increased isolation

- Statements about hopelessness, worthlessness, or self-harm

When you begin to see these signs in someone (or in yourself) then it is time to ask for help.

I'd like to note that it is okay to be sad. Sadness is a feeling we have in response to things we face in everyday life like loss of a loved one, frustrations, or even just a sad movie (or episode, as mentioned above). Depression, on the other hand, goes way beyond a feeling. It is debilitating (it controls your mood and mindset very negatively) and it is seemingly impossible to get out of. When you are looking for the signs mentioned above, depression is when sadness doesn't seem to go away. It is when sadness lasts for weeks, into months, possibly into years when left unchecked.

We noted last night that the church is a safe place to open up. People get this idea that church is where perfect people go, but actually, the opposite is true. When people come to believe in Jesus Christ, they admit that they are not perfect and that they need saving. Church is for imperfect, hurting people to come and experience God's love and mercy. And it is a safe place to open up about what is really going on under the surface. When someone is depressed, they usually feel alone, detached, and disconnected from others. The problem is, our go-to response to this is further isolate ourselves - which of course makes it even worse. When we or someone we know is depressed, it is vitally important to find a way to connect with someone else. Reach out to a leader, a trusted friend, or a family member. Don't stay isolated.

Some things you can do to help when you start to see the signs listed above in someone:

1. Ask questions. Open up a conversation, and don't be afraid to mention that you are concerned about them. Let them know you care and are available to talk if they are willing.

2. Listen. Don't just ask, listen to their answers.

3. Be there. Sit with them and let your presence be a reminder that they are not alone. Sometimes we don't know what to say, and that's okay because sometimes we don't need to say anything - we just need to be there.

4. Help them connect. You cannot do it alone. Don't try to help them by yourself, instead, try to get them connected with a larger support system: friends, family, medical professionals (if necessary), pastors, and/or counselors.

5. Pray. This is the single most important thing you can do. Pray with them, pray for them, pray over them. Just pray. Believe in the power of prayer and know that God hears us.

The last things we talked about was hope. One of the leading causes of depression (when not a medical issue) is a sense of hopelessness. People look out at the world around them and decide it is not worth living in - that somehow, it is better to die. As Christians, we know the one Person who can offer hope in this dark, broken world: Jesus Christ. He offers to give us salvation from our sins, purpose for our lives here on earth, and the hope of everlasting life with God when this life is over. We talked about 3 points from the Bible that give us hope:

1. God loves and values us. Check out Psalm 139:13-16, Romans 5:8, and John 3:16 to see what the Bible has to say about this.

2. God has an amazing plan for our lives. Check out Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 8:28.

3. God can give us the strength to overcome any struggle. Check out Psalm 46:1-2, Psalm 9:9-10, and Isaiah 40:29-31.

There is nothing we can do earn God's love, He just loves us. And there is nothing we can do to lose God's love, either. We always have hope and we can always rely on Him.

When we come alongside someone who is struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide, it is important for us to share this hope. If the person is a Christian, remind them of these things. If they are not a Christian, share the message about Jesus - it is the most hope you can offer them in this world. Then, remind them that they are not alone.

If you have questions about what to do, resources, or next steps in regard to helping someone struggling with these kinds of thoughts, please ask those questions in the comments below. If you need advice, prayer, or support, please reach out to me, to a friend, to someone.

God bless yall.