Thursday, May 27, 2021

Suicide: Warning Signs and How to Help

So, we met on the 3rd floor last night for the first time since Covid-19 swept across the globe. It was a bittersweet experience since we didn't have PI making amazing FroZones for everyone. Maybe we will get up there one more time before he leaves and convince him to make us all drinks. We'll see.

We saw some old faces, we saw some new faces, we saw some young faces, and we saw some masked faces. With the Governor's decision to lift the mask mandate starting tomorrow, we won't see as many masked faces moving forward. My hope, however, is that even after social distancing restrictions are removed, people continue to respect the personal space of others. Who's with me on this?

Last night we tackled a topic most serious: suicide. Most of what we talked about can be found in this article on Life Church's website, but I would like to quickly summarize some of the key points that were made (especially since I think you need an account to view the article).

Firstly, let's talk about how prevalent (important) this issue is in our society today. In the late 1990's suicide rates among young people were actually declining (less people were taking their own lives). However, in the last two decades this has reversed and suicide rates among young people have been on the rise. Right now, suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people, the #1 cause being accidents. Back in 2016, more people in the U.S. died by suicide than by homicide - that means more people were taking their own life than were having it taken by someone else. That's disheartening, to say the least. In the next 24 hours, approximately 1,439 teenagers will attempt suicide, and about 80% of students who die by suicide never contact mental health services (they don't reach out for help).

This is a real problem in our society. Our young people are so disillusioned about life here on this earth, and so disheartened by the state of the world that they would rather take themselves out of it than remain. They see no bright future, no hope or reason to continue, so they opt out. Something needs to be done. Someone needs to do something. WE need to do something!

**I don't necessarily recommend watching the show "One Tree Hill" as there are a lot of twisted themes and perspectives throughout it, but if you want to see a powerful depiction of the kind of hopelessness that leads a young person to end their life, watch Season 3, Episode 16 - "With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept". I don't want anyone to go through the kind of hopelessness, depression, and despair that the student in this episode experienced.**

Signs to Watch Out For:
- Changes in eating habits
- Sad or depressed mood
- Loss of energy, motivation, or interest (especially in things they are usually passionate about)
- Withdrawal and increased isolation
- Statements about hopelessness, worthlessness, or self-harm

When you begin to see these signs in someone (or in yourself) then it is time to ask for help.

I'd like to note that it is okay to be sad. Sadness is a feeling we have in response to things we face in everyday life like loss of a loved one, frustrations, or even just a sad movie (or episode, as mentioned above). Depression, on the other hand, goes way beyond a feeling. It is debilitating (it controls your mood and mindset very negatively) and it is seemingly impossible to get out of. When you are looking for the signs mentioned above, depression is when sadness doesn't seem to go away. It is when sadness lasts for weeks, into months, possibly into years when left unchecked.

We noted last night that the church is a safe place to open up. People get this idea that church is where perfect people go, but actually, the opposite is true. When people come to believe in Jesus Christ, they admit that they are not perfect and that they need saving. Church is for imperfect, hurting people to come and experience God's love and mercy. And it is a safe place to open up about what is really going on under the surface. When someone is depressed, they usually feel alone, detached, and disconnected from others. The problem is, our go-to response to this is further isolate ourselves - which of course makes it even worse. When we or someone we know is depressed, it is vitally important to find a way to connect with someone else. Reach out to a leader, a trusted friend, or a family member. Don't stay isolated.

Some things you can do to help when you start to see the signs listed above in someone:
1. Ask questions. Open up a conversation, and don't be afraid to mention that you are concerned about them. Let them know you care and are available to talk if they are willing.
2. Listen. Don't just ask, listen to their answers.
3. Be there. Sit with them and let your presence be a reminder that they are not alone. Sometimes we don't know what to say, and that's okay because sometimes we don't need to say anything - we just need to be there.
4. Help them connect. You cannot do it alone. Don't try to help them by yourself, instead, try to get them connected with a larger support system: friends, family, medical professionals (if necessary), pastors, and/or counselors.
5. Pray. This is the single most important thing you can do. Pray with them, pray for them, pray over them. Just pray. Believe in the power of prayer and know that God hears us.

The last things we talked about was hope. One of the leading causes of depression (when not a medical issue) is a sense of hopelessness. People look out at the world around them and decide it is not worth living in - that somehow, it is better to die. As Christians, we know the one Person who can offer hope in this dark, broken world: Jesus Christ. He offers to give us salvation from our sins, purpose for our lives here on earth, and the hope of everlasting life with God when this life is over. We talked about 3 points from the Bible that give us hope:

1. God loves and values us. Check out Psalm 139:13-16, Romans 5:8, and John 3:16 to see what the Bible has to say about this.

2. God has an amazing plan for our lives. Check out Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 8:28.

3. God can give us the strength to overcome any struggle. Check out Psalm 46:1-2, Psalm 9:9-10, and Isaiah 40:29-31.

There is nothing we can do earn God's love, He just loves us. And there is nothing we can do to lose God's love, either. We always have hope and we can always rely on Him.

When we come alongside someone who is struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide, it is important for us to share this hope. If the person is a Christian, remind them of these things. If they are not a Christian, share the message about Jesus - it is the most hope you can offer them in this world. Then, remind them that they are not alone.

If you have questions about what to do, resources, or next steps in regard to helping someone struggling with these kinds of thoughts, please ask those questions in the comments below. If you need advice, prayer, or support, please reach out to me, to a friend, to someone.

God bless yall.

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